What Else Was I Supposed To Do?

We hide because we want to be found... We walk away to see who follows... We cry to see who wipes away the tears... And we let our heart be broken to see who comes to fix it.

Is there a reason we do this?
Is there a rhyme as to why we constantly put ourselves through this pain?
We go through this pain in search of a reprieve, a glimmer of sun after the ominous storm..
And yet, when finally find a person to take the pain away...We push them away.
Find every fault in them we can, we focus on the past, and prohibit ourselves from moving on from the past...

I know I am guilty of this, and yet I can't stop myself from doing it.......

Dear past, thanks for all the lessons. Dear future, I'm ready

Dear past,

As a kid we're told, "Chew with your mouth closed,remember to look both ways before crossing the street, and don't forget to say thank you.

As a teenager we're told, "Don't do drugs, don't do this, don't do that get good grades, and reach for the stars."

And as a teenager, I am not sure what they'll tell me as an adult. At this point in my life I have been told a lot of things, been basked a lot of things, but...It's not what I've been told that matters...It's what I do with what I've been told that matters...It's how I've answered to what I've been asked. However, these decisions and answers won't tie me down to a specific future. Not everything that happens now will matter in the future. For now I just have to try to live life as it is and take certain things with a grain of salt.

I may not know how to respond to everything I am told, and I may not know how to answer every question I am asked, but for now...Dear Future, I'm ready.

Sincerely,

The Present

Well then...

Things have been fairly odd lately.
Have you ever felt super disconnected from the world?
Currently I know that something is getting to me, but I can't quite make any sense of it.
People have noticed that something is up, but I am always at a lost of what to tell them.
Then they think I am keep something from them when in reality I am not.
It's probably the incessant stress of high school and such.
Oh well...

Still I Rise

I love you Maya Angelou!

Still I Rise




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You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

My life wouldn't be the same if it weren't for musicals....Thank you Broadway.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

Cigarettes are disgusting. The smell, the smoke, and the concept just seems stupid....Nasty.

Day 10 - A picture of your favorite sport or favorite athlete.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

It has been awhile since I have done this so I think it is time to catch up....

Progress

What to say?
What not to say?
Did I say something wrong?
Did I say nothing at all?
This is overwhelming..
Something very new...
I never got tongue tied,
Until I met you.
Sorry to be so blunt,
Pardon my forwardness,
You just make me so nervous,
Yet so excited.
This side of me I only show to a few.
But now it's your turn,
Show me the vulnerable side of you.

Temptation

It bewitches the mind...
Shocks the nerves...
Excites your pulse
And boils your blood.

Temptation is dangerous

Shivers down my spine,
Knots in my stomach,
My tongue is all tied.

Words coming out like vomit,
My pulse on the rise,
Thoughts racing in my head.

What is going on?
What is this I am feeling?
I am so overwhelmed.

What are you feeling?
Are you like this too?
Tell me what you're thinking.
I need to know.

Confusion

What's the point of falling when there is no one to catch you?
Why is it so hard to put yourself out there in the line of fire?
Emotions are so overwhelming at times that I would rather be numb.
I haven't felt like this in awhile and it is extremely frightening.....

Confused

Have you ever been trapped inside your own mind?
Have you ever tricked yourself into believing something that it's not true?
I do that a lot...You think you're fine and then you realize that you are actually going crazy and you are having a hard time moving on........
Argh.....

New work

Looming deep into your beautiful eyes,
I am feeling something I never knew,
You told me you'd never tell any lies,
Deep in my heart heart I know this to be true.

Inside your arms forever I will stay,
For I could not possibly bear to leave,
I think about you every single day,
I am falling for you I do believe.

Come my love don't make me wait much longer,
'Cause I feel my patience is wearing thin,
And my love for is growing stonger,
That's us being apart is a sin.

Come be with me until the end of time,
Forever I'll be yours and you'll be mine.

Another work in progress....Imagine

Imagine a world with no spring.
A world where grass does not grow,
Where the birds do not sing,
And the rain does not fall.

Imagine a world with no summer.
A world with no warmth,
Where the sun doesn't shine,
And flowers never bloom.

Imagine a world with no fall,
A world where the wind doesn't blow,
And the leaves do not fall.

Imagine a world with no winter,
A world with not rest,
Where snowflakes don't fall,
And the snow never melts.

Can you imagine a world like that?

Untitled Work In Progress

Your love is a razor blade,
You cute me deep.
Your love smoothly slides across me,
Leaving a trail of blood
And a tingling pain.


Lost the second part but oh well!

Love sick? No, I just like to flirt

So it is actually really nice to be single. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to flirt. =p It is not dangerous and I can do whatever I want. And I suppose after being in a relationship as long I was in made me feel suffocated. And being boy crazy is fun. =D

ranty rant rant

Soooooooooooooooooooooo I am gonna post a super dramatic poem because I havent wrote on here for awhile and have nothing else better to say.

Your love is razor blade,
You cute me deep,
Your over sides across over me,
And leaves a trail of blood.
Your love stings like a bee,
After you've stung you leave.
Your love burns like a fire,
Raging with heat,
Until you dampened the flame.


It is a work in progress, but it is one of the FEW poems I actually write

Unexplained Attraction

Polar opposites
Complete strangers
I pass you in the halls, yet I don't think you even notice me.
When I catch your eye, you just look away
When you talk to me, you barely say anything
Yet....I still find myself attracted to you.
Why is that?